Let’s Make A Deal !

Well Hello there Little One! Aren’t you just a Cutie Pie?

Let’s make a deal, shall we?  Give me your full, undivided attention and watch me for just 6 hours a day / 7 days a week. In exchange, I’ll promise to rid you of your imagination and fill your mind with programming that will forever shape your worldview in the way that is needed for you to grow and become a productive human resource for our society.

The best part is that I will do this with lots of simple stories, mindless action, pretty colors, music and basic concepts so that you will not have to think for yourself at all.

Sounds good? Great! Now go tell you parents to show you how to power me up and work the remote!

Good Morning Class! 

It’s great to see you all here this morning.  Let’s make a deal, shall we?  Give us 13,278 hours of your precious young lives, and in return, we will indoctrinate you with the mindset needed to function and become employed in our society upon your maturation. There is absolutely no cost to you as our compensation comes from money generated by taxing the working adult community. All you would have to do is show up everyday with an empty mind and we will fill you right on up with whatever curriculum that currently serves our best interest.  Don’t worry, everyone has to go thru our program so you will never feel alienated.

Sounds good? Great! Now let’s go get programmed!

Good Afternoon Freshman! 

Let’s make a deal, shall we?  How about committing 4 to 6 additional years of your life and approximately $100,000 for the honor of obtaining “higher learning” in our prestigious institutions.  In exchange, we will be providing you a more  detailed and specific, occupational programming of your choosing,  We guarantee that your experience with us will be the one of most memorable times of your life.  No need to worry about giving us that 100k now, OK?.  We will be more than to happy to assist you with establishing credit by directing you to our wonderful lenders. Rest assured that our lenders will be very pleased in assisting you with acquiring debt, while making your transition to adulthood easy and painless.  As an added bonus, we will also include your very own personalized “Certificate of Degree”, printed on 13% pure lambskin to be used as your first real status symbol as an adult.  This “degree” is required by many employers before considering you as a candidate for a position of slavery at their respective corporations.

Sounds Good?  Great! You are now officially in debt. Welcome to Adulthood!

Congrats Graduate!

Let’s make a deal, shall we? You help increase profits at my corporation by giving me 90,240 hours of your life, and I’ll pay you just enough to make sure that you can come back each day, OK?  Your “total time” spent servicing my dreams and ambitions will only add up to approximately 44.7 years (including commute time). Everyone else will be working for corporations as well, so you shouldnt feel too alone . In exchange for a lifetime of service, I’ll gladly compensate you with a max payout $32.13 per hour. This includes a 5% discount on health insurance, plus a stainless steel watch if your lucky enough to stay with us long enough to retire.

Sounds good? Great! Your hired. Welcome aboard!

Greetings Consumer/Taxpayer

Let’s make a deal, shall we?  You agree to kindly give us ALL of your income earned from your labor by purchasing our goods and services. In exchange we will provide you more goods and services, OK? Along with being taxed on your income and all purchases, we agree to use those funds to pay ourselves so that we can grant you with the rights needed for you to exist within our system. As an added bonus, we will give you access to The Pursuit of Happiness via“The American Dream”.  However, we strongly encourage you to find a spouse, produce offspring, own multiple pets, acquire a mortgage, finance a couple of vehicles and accumulate ancillary debt while living in a neighborhood with others just like you. You and your family are more than welcome to travel (with our expressed permission) to different countries so that you may observe and appreciate how lucky you are to live in this great country.

Sounds good? Great,! You are now a typical American. Congratulations!

  Welcome Soul! 

Let’s make a deal shall we?  Give us your mind and spirit (along with 10% of your income), and in exchange, we will promise you a tentative reservation for your very own *Kneeling Spot in the afterlife of our choosing.  The only requirements needed from you would be for you to familiarize yourself with our Policy and Procedures Manuals, attend weekly meetings and participate in a few meaningless rituals.  Most importantly, we require that you are to never be burdened with the task of having to exercise any critical thinking skills at all.  You will never have to waste your time with thinking, researching, doubting or questioning anything. Many of the appropriate answers to any question that may arise in your mind, or the minds of others, are contained right here in our Policy and Procedures Manual. A strong sense of Blind Faith is mandatory and not optional!

Sounds good? Great! You are now promised your very own *Kneeling Spot in front of your Creator of Choice so that you may worship him (or her) forever and ever.  AMEN-ra 

* Kneeling Spot can only be redeemed upon your death and is not valid during your current lifetime.

-M Sa-Ra ©2009